Ah, the best laid plans. All week, I’ve been offering tips to help restaurants develop a policy for comping the media in a variety of regularly occurring circumstances.

I’ve covered how to craft a basic policy, what to do with reporters in the restaurant, and some thoughts on how to handle a great media dinner. But here’s the reality: Sometimes, shit happens. People do wackadoo things that you don’t expect, or that are downright tacky. Here are a few circumstances my clients have experienced, and here’s what we did to make things right. I’d love to hear your strangest experience ever, and what you did to turn lemons into lemonade:

The No Tipper: I've spent the two last years dumping mine and some of my family's money into a business. So, from a disposable income perspective, I am dirt poor.  It is hard, sometimes, to have to explain to chefs that I would eat in their restaurants they are kindly inviting me to for a free meal but guess what, I can't afford the tip or the valet.

Personally, I worry that there are a ton of freelancers that are in that situation all the time. They've got good hearts. They've got good intentions. The don't have some husband or wife that bankrolls the project of freelance writer.  And, from what I hear, they aren't paid much. 

And to me, if you are gonna be out on the prowl for stories, and not just take the stories PR people hand over, you gotta be out on the prowl.  Eating.

The scenario: A journalist dines at a restaurant, gets comped, leaves without leaving a tip and the server takes the hit.

The advice: Back when I did regular PR, I let my clients know that a tip from a comped journalist was a bonus, and I often recommended that the restaurant just pay the staff directly, so they were taken care of, and consider it marketing. I still believe in that policy.

The Dine-and-Dasher: This is one that sorta only has really happened once or maybe twice to my clients, OK, maybe once a year is more like it, it happens — so just get the smelling salts and pick yourself up off the floor. 

The scenario: A journalist dines at a restaurant, just like a regular person with his wife or something, and then walks on the check. It's always a bizarre shock, but what's the proper response?

The advice: Call your significant other and vent to him or her about what an entitled ass the journalist is, and then leave it at that. You can't win any battle or smear campaign when you’re up against an obvious, oblivious megalomaniac — with a pen/keyboard. Your only choice is to suck it up and be the bigger person.

The Friends-and-Family-with-Benefits: This probably shouldn't be in the edge case file, because it happens so much, but I am a bad filer.

The scenario: A journalist asks to bring extra people to a sit-down dinner, without offering to pay for them. Offering a plus-one is a nice gesture; after all, few people really like to dine alone. But when plus-one becomes plus-two or plus-six, let’s face it: The journalist is taking advantage.

The advice: Let him or her know they can bring one guest, but others will need to pay their way. If they call the day of to see if "any seats opened up," pretend your phone is on the fritz, tap into the receiver with a handy spoon and then hang up. They deserve no respect.

The Crew: This one should be obvious, but lots of restaurants ask me what to do, so I’m going to clear the air once and for all.

The scenario: A story is written and the publication sends in a photo team to take photos and/or video of your food. They spend hours getting everything right, showing you proofs, tweaking and perfecting. Then, at the end of the day, these dudes are often the working stiffs who gets stiffed.

The advice: For the love of all things holy, you are in the hospitality business: Feed them! (And while I'm at it, if you go to a TV studio for a demo, bring food for the whole crew. Let's just say food for 20. Really, I need to remind you of that ... AGAIN?)

So, when an unexpected expense falls in your lap because the media is checking out your restaurant, consider this: You could be dealing with the alternative, a complete and utter lack of interest by the media in your restaurant.

And, if you’re still having a hard time being gracious, consider these words from Queen of Etiquette Emily Post: “No one — unless he be a hermit — can fail to gain from a proper, courteous, likable approach, or fail to be handicapped by an improper, offensive, resentful one."